The way of Steins gate
by qwqs
Summary: In the operations to reach Steins gate, we saw the events as Hououin Kyouma, aka, Okabe Rintarou or Okarin for short, whether it was a failure or a successful one. But what about Kurisu? What was she thinking before and during the operation Skuld? This is the story about Kurisu during the way to Steins gate. A Sci-fi story with a little bit of romance. Based on Visual novel format.
1. Prologue

**Anthor's note: ** Hello, Qwqs from Angel beats fandom here. An idea keep bugging in my mind, so I decide to write it down. I will talk more about it later at the end.

**Qwqs**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Steins; gate.**

**The way of Steins gate: Prologue**

"Alright, let's do this!"

I look at the papers I took days just to write down.

"I hope with this, Papa will finally make up with me."

I smile at the thought.

In my hand is my theory about how time machine and time travel may be possible.

It came to me when I started to think about how to make up with Papa since he invited me to attend his press conference (Which I think it wouldn't end well for him consider the public's opinion about him).

After that, days for days, sleepless nights for sleepless nights, I spent all of my free time to finish writing it.

And today is the deciding day. Yes, the day of Papa's conference.

"I hope he is not in too bad a mood when he talks to me."

I sigh.

"Well, I probably should go now, I suppose."

I say this after looking at my watch and open the door of my room…

"I'm off."

**-o-O-o-**

What was that sound…?

I heard the loud noise coming from the roof.

Is it the props of my Papa?

As I ponder about it, I see a guy in lab coat running down the stairs leading to the roof

Ah! That person is coming from the roof!

Let ask him!

* * *

**Will be updated soon after. Originally plan was to be a one-shot. But I decided I want people to take a look at it as soon as possible. So I posted a part here first.**

**Please read and review.**


	2. First try

**Author's note: **Okay, onto the second part. Since I wrote it in visual novel format, try to use your own common sense to make out which character said what. It may be a bit difficult, but the best trick is to open the steins gate visual novel in Okabe P.O.V. while reading and images it as Kurisu's instead, it will help you understand a lot better.

Since this fan fiction is kinda like an extension to the original visual novel, it may only be suitable for those who played the game. But if anyone else wants to read it, sure, but it may be a little difficult to do so.

**Qwqs**

**The way of Steins gate: First try**

"Excuse me."

I call out to him as he is standing still; seem to be pondering about something.

"!?"

After that he turns to face me, as I have expected.

What I didn't expect is the next word he speaks.

"Kurisu…!"

'_He knows my name!?'_

"Um, do I know you?

It came out on reflex.

'_I mean, how the hell did this guy know my name?'_

"No…"

He refuses.

"You came down from the roof just now, didn't you?"

Ignoring about this little suspicion, I ask him about my original doubt.

'_So what of it? Answer me!'_

I stare hard at him, into his eyes as I continue.

"I heard a strange sound from the roof. Is that why the building shook just now?"

"What's going on? It's not Doctor Nakabachi's doing, is it?"

But he doesn't answer.

"…"

And then I notice he is sweating like crazy.

"Are you listening? …You're sweating like crazy."

'_What's with him?' _

My suspicion starts to increase.

After he remained silence for a while, suddenly he reaches his hand out to me. That hand seems to be shivering.

"Hey! What?"

I step back in confusion.

'_Okay, there may be a little fear. But I can't help it, can I?'_

After I stepped back though, there is a painful look on his face.

'_What the…?'_

He gave a resigned look for an instant before turning away, prepares to leave…

'_Wait a minute…'_

"Please answer my question!"

He stops and stays still for a moment.

Finally, he turns around to face me.

He stares deep into my eyes.

I feel taken aback for a bit and can only form short word.

"…Answer me."

"…"

He then stops again for a while.

"I… For you…"

At the end, he begins.

'_Ok, so what is it?'_

I wait for a while but he doesn't seem like he will continue.

Finally, I ask him again.

"What is it?"

"…"

He makes a sound as if he is in pain.

'_ANSWER ME!'_

'_Why do you have to make a painful look like that? What have happened to you?'_

As I am about to ask him again, suddenly he shakes his head and runs off to the stairs.

"W-Wait! Stop right there!"

I try to stop him, but it seems to be to no avail.

"What's wrong with him…?"

I murmur to myself…

… And then sigh.

'_Just you wait! I will definitely catch you and force you to explain to me what is going on!'_

'_I will search for him until the time Papa's press conference starts!'_

**-o-O-o-**

"Even though I said that, Papa's conference has already started. And I am a little late too... _*sigh*_"

I whisper to myself and then sigh.

As I am about to open the door to Papa's conference…

"DOOOOOOOOOOOOCTOOOOOOOOOOORRR!"

The voice of that guy rings through the close door and reaches my ears.

"Eh! What is going on?"

I exclaim as I continue to listen.

"Do you take us for fools!?"

That guy shouts in an angry tone.

'_What's with him? Is this really the same guy who made such a painful face back then?'_

"Who the hell are you?"

Papa responds in an annoying voice.

"Who am I? That doesn't matter! What important is that time machine theory just now!"

He continues, still angry.

"This is the rip off of John Titor's theory, isn't it!? And you dare call yourself an inventor!"

"S-Someone, throw this man out!"

Papa responds in a worry.

'_Great! Just great! Now Papa is in the worst mood ever possible!'_

"The one who we should throw out is YOU! Have you no shame at all!? And you call yourself an inventor!"

'_He still continues!?'_

"Shut your mouth, you little pest!"

Papa scolds.

And then the official walks to restrain him.

"Let me go, bas- huh?"

He pauses in the middle of his sentence as I walk up to him.

"…"

I make a silent groan as I glare him down.

"Ah…"

He utters one word and then goes silent again.

"Could you come with me for a moment?"

I speak, unwilling to wait until he finishes his thought yet again.

He seems to have a thoughtful look on his face for a moment before he speaks again.

And, yet, His next word is also unexpected.

"Y-You… Y-You are with the Organization, aren't you!?"

And of course, the only thing I can do to such an unexpected word is…

"Huh?"

"If their tendrils have gotten this far, then I've made a grave mistake."

'_What with these nonsenses?'_

Unable to put up with it anymore, I cut it off.

"Stop fooling around and come with me."

I speak it in a little tired voice.

"Eh…?"

He exclaims in a confusion voice.

'_Don't play dumb! Aren't you the one who talked to me just a while ago!?'_

He looks at the crowd for a moment before let me leading him out of the assembly hall.

'_Papa, please calm down a bit, okay?'_

**-o-O-o-**

"Don't try anything or other people will notice! You will be in a trouble then, won't you?"

That is the _first sentence_ he speaks after I dragged him out of the room! Honestly, this guy…

'_Will you stop this nonsense ALREADY!'_

"What the hell are you talking about? It grosses me out."

I say it as I glare hard at him again.

Trying to calm my nerves down as much as possible, I begin again in a calm voice.

"I just want to ask you something."

"What makes you think I'll answer? I know how the Organization operates."

He answers in an arrogant tone.

'_Organization again?'_

"What's with this Organization anyway?"

I ask.

It bothers me too much not to ask.

And then I wait for an answer…

But then, this guy… this guy… THIS GUY!

I said it thrice because it is important! SUPER important! ABSOLUTELY, ABSOLUTELY IMPORTANT!

"It's me. I've been caught by an Organization agent… Yes, it's Makise Kurisu. She's a dangerous one. …No, it's fine. I'll find a way to-"

He dare ignores me and starts talking on his damn phone!

"…"

I groan again before snatching the damn phone away from him.

'_Doesn't he know it's rude to use your phone during a real live conversation?'_

"Gah… What are you doing!?"

The guy says as I am about to have a word with whomever this guy talked to…

"Huh? This phone is off."

"…"

The guy also groans in respond to my word of confusion.

'_Ah! I see!'_

'_Now, time for revenge!'_

"…Who were you talking to?"

'_He is clearly flustered! Yay!'_

"Y-Your techniques don't work on me, but I'll tell you anyway. That's no ordinary phone. It's designed to deactivate the moment it leaves my hand. Fuhahaha!"

'_What the hell with that?'_

That's the most absurd excuse I have ever heard.

I don't know if he really thinks that his excuse work or not as he retrieves his phone back and wipes away his sweat.

'_Ok, now for the finishing blow!' _

Here I go!

"I see. So you really talk to yourself."

"Guh!"

'_Serve you right, Fuhahaha!'_

'_Oops! Damn! His idiocy starts to affect me. Have to finish it fast.'_

Thinking so, I hide my smile and step up to him with a serious expression.

'_Remember, Kurisu. Just a while ago, this guy's expression was like he was in so much pain.'_

'_You have to be serious about this.'_

"What were you trying to tell me earlier?"

"Earlier? What do you mean?"

No time to retort for serious matter, so I quickly reply.

"About fifteen minutes ago. Just before the conference started."

He has a conflict look on his face, but I ignore it and continue.

"You were trying to tell me something, right? You looked really upset."

Upset? The word I really want to use is pitiful, but that would be too rude.

"You looked like you were going to cry any second."

Yes, that is why I thought it is pitiful.

What could have happened? To make a grown man about to cry like that…

Well, it is not much of a grown man in his case, I suppose.

But joking aside, what concerns me the most is the fact that the reason the guy seemed to be so sad was because of me.

"Why? Have we met before?"

I ask him sincerely; want him to be sincere with me.

"And come to think of it, how do you know my name?"

And the answer to that is…

"My knowledge has no limits."

"Genius girl, our next meeting shall be as enemies!"

"Huh?"

Yes, that is the only word I can respond to that.

"Farewell! Fuhahaha!"

And then he runs down the stairs, ignoring all my _"wait"._

"…Is he really the same guy?"

I start to ask myself.

That guy seemed _absolutely_ not in the mood to make any jokes, let alone fool around like that.

He was like a broken man.

"_I… For you…"_

What did he want to say? Why did he run off back then?

'_Oh, this is bad! I have to prepare to talk to Papa. I have lost time, thinking about this weirdo.'_

Thinking so, I stop thinking about him and focusing more on my meeting with Papa.

**-o-O-o-**

'_Okay! Now that I have already gone to toilet, I should at least be able to hold a decent enough conversation with Papa despite his bad mood.'_

"…And also with this"

I whisper to myself as I take another look at the papers in my hands.

'_With this, Papa should finally forgive me. Or at least I wish it to be so.'_

I can't stop myself from feeling satisfy with myself with this thesis.

I think about these things as I climb up the stairs.

But then, I find something lying down on the floor.

…It seems like a figure or something.

Well, whatever, I should pick it up first.

'_Ah! This is cute!'_

Hmm… this is made of metal. There is something writing on it.

_Mayushii's?_

Well, I supposed this is the name of the owner, but since I don't know who it is, I suppose I might as well hold on to it for now.

'_I will try to find the owner after my talk with Papa.'_

Thinking so, I put this cute metal into my envelope and continue walk up the stairs.

It is still not the time for the meeting yet, so I will listen to Papa's conference from outside for a bit…

**-o-O-o-**

I look into my envelope at the _metal cute_ thing in it.

'_How cute!'_

I can't help but smile as I look at it.

'_Metal cute, I am about to have a talk with my father after I haven't had a decent conversation with him in years. Please be my strength to help me make up with Papa, okay?'_

Doing the telepathy with this metal cute sure is calming my nervousness down a bit.

As I am reassuring myself with the metal cute like this, I hear the footsteps of Papa approaching. So I prepare myself.

"…I wanted to talk"

I start.

"…"

He groans in respond.

I encourage myself to speak again after seeing his negative respond.

"Are you listening, Papa?"

"What is that?"

He finally says something as he is looking at the envelope in my hands.

'_Come on, you can do it, Kurisu. Just brace yourself.'_

I reassure myself again.

"I heard Papa was giving a presentation on time travel."

"That makes me think. Could it be possible to make a time machine?"

I smile at Papa, pause for a bit and then continue again.

"I'd like your opinion, Papa."

"We can polish it together, and then submit it to the scientific community.

'_Yes, like this it will work.' _

I will finally make up with Papa…

"I don't know if they'll listen, but just in case, I do have acquaintances as science magazine."

I give the thesis to Papa and let him read it, all the while praying inside, _please work, please work._

Although it doesn't seem to going too well since the more Papa read, the more irritated he becomes.

Finally, after he skimmed through some pages in it…

"Who told you to write this?"

He scolds.

I answer evenly

"No one… but…"

"You invited me to come, remember? It was the first time we had talked in 7 years. That's what got me thinking."

"And as I worked on thesis thesis, I started to realize it might actually be possible to build a time machine."

So far so good.

"If this thesis is published, you could have your revenge on the scientific community for shunning you-"

"I wasn't shunned!"

He suddenly shouts

'_Ah, I made a mistake.'_

I think to myself.

"Those incompetent bastards were just jealous of my superiority. I was the one who gave up on them!"

He continues to shout.

"P-please don't yell…"

'_Hang on, Kurisu. You still can do it, still can do it…'_

I reassure myself again.

Though I only receive the glare from Papa as of now.

'_Ok, try again to change the mood.'_

"Y-You read really fast, Papa. Just like I remember."

"…Not bad."

He finally speaks positively.

'_Ah, and I thought it would fail…'_

"Really?"

"We can submit it jointly, if you like. I don't mind."

'_Ok, now. I can finally make up with Pap-'_

"No, don't do anything. I will take care of it."

"…What do you mean?"

'_What did you say, Papa?'_

"What do I mean? I mean don't think you are special just because you got your plebeian thesis published in some magazines!"

"…"

P-P-Papa?

I can't help but look at him in disdain.

It comes on reflex.

After all what he said…

"What? Is that how you look at your father!?"

Endure it for a little more, Kurisu. Not all hope is lost yet.

"I'm sorry…"

I apologize to Papa.

And then we are both gone silence.

I try to find a way to change the atmosphere out of this awkward silence.

"Umm… We haven't seen each other in a while. There is a lot I want to talk about. You're living in Aomori now, right?"

"Leave"

Papa cuts it off curtly.

"Eh…"

I can't help it but let out a voice.

I'm just too confused by what he meant.

"Go back to America. Never show your face to me again!"

"But-"

I try to protest

"You want my opinion!? We'll submit it jointly!? You don't mean any of that! I know what you think!"

Papa continues ranting.

"Is that pity!? How dare you!? You're supposed to be my daughter!"

'_This is going to the worst…'_

"I… I don't understand. Please calm-"

"I am calm! Don't tell me what to do!"

'_P-P-P-P-Papa.'_

I hold back the urge to cry.

"I'll tell you why I called you here today. I wanted to show you my research, research beyond what you can imagine!"

"I wanted to prove, once and for all, that you are nothing, compare to me!"

"But that brat in the lab coat ruined everything! I know you were laughing at me too, don' you deny it! How dare you treat your own father this way!?"

'_So it is because of that guy after all. *sob*'_

I start to sob mentally.

"I wasn't-"

Using my slightly shivering voice, I try to respond.

"You want my opinion on this thesis? Fine, I'll give it to you."

"I'm going to publish it for myself. End of discussion."

"…"

'_Don't tell me, Papa… You will…'_

"…You're stealing it?"

"…What did you say?"

"You're stealing my work? I didn't think even you would do something like-"

My voice is clearly shaking now. My mind is about to break down…

_*Slap*_

"Ah!"

'Papa…'

I look up at my Papa in shock.

"Who do you think you're talking to!?"

And then Papa tries to strangle me.

"_*gasp*… *gasp*_"

I try my best to gasp for air while resisting my Papa.

"You can't possibly understand how I feel! Why did you have to be so talented!? I detest you! I hate your very existence!"

"Nobody is allowed to be better than me! Understand!? Nobody! Especially not my own daughter!"

'_Papa… Why do you feel like this about me…'_

"That's why I sent you away! I couldn't bear the shame of being your father!"

My mind is about to break down as I listen to my father words, so is my consciousness.

"It's all your fault! It's all your fault!"

'_Papa… if you hate me so much then…'_

I was about to resign my life when…

"Stop!"

…I hear the familiar voice from afar.

"…!?" Papa groans as the guy rams into him.

And my throat finally free from my father's held.

"Guh, gah hoh gah hoh gah hoh…"

I fantastically gasp for air.

"Who the hell are you!?"

Papa asks the guy, seems to be confused.

"I won't let you kill Kurisu!"

The voice declares to save me loudly.

To be honest, I'm very touch that I'm about to cry.

Papa looks at the guy for a moment before shouting again.

"You!"

"You are the brat who ruined my presentation!"

And then Papa accuses him of being my accomplice to ruin Papa's presentation.

And then he takes off a knife from his pocket.

'_No… Papa… Don't do this.'_

"You'll pay for mocking me!"

Papa charges at him.

Luckily, the guy dodges the knife by a hair breadth.

Papa lost his balance but he stands up again and prepares for another attack.

"Apologize to me!"

Papa charges again.

But the guy also lunges forward and knocks Papa's hand.

The knife falls on the ground and the boy leaps to pick it up.

But when I look at Papa, he picks up a screwdriver on a toolbox, seemingly to continue the fight.

"Stop it, Papa!"

'_Don't do this Papa… This is bad for all of us.'_

I am unconsciously walking towards him, pleading him to stop.

But then a voice snaps me out of it, a desperate cry.

"Kurisu, RUN!"

But still…

'…_I can't leave Papa here in this state'_

Ignoring his advice, I still continue to plead Papa to stop.

"If only you'd never been born!"

Papa suddenly attacks me using his screwdriver. I use my arm to guard it, but still, I don't get away uninjured from it.

Blood starts to spurt from my arm.

'_Papa will kill me… He will really kill me…'_

But still…

"Nakabachi!" The guy charges at Papa with his knife.

"No!"

I cry.

**-o-O-o-**

It hurts…

It hurts… it hurts… it hurts…

Of course it sure is. I blocked the knife meant for Papa.

"Ah… guh…!"

I cry in anguish as blood spurt from my guts.

"Wh…y…"

The guy who accidentally stabbed me still seems to be in shock.

"Why…"

I feel very weak… it seems like I will lose consciousness every second now.

To support my weak self, I slumps against the guy who stabbed me.

"Ha… hahahaha! A fitting end for you fools, hahahaha!"

After I vaguely heard Papa's laugher for a while, he suddenly picks something off the ground and runs off.

I don't have any strength leave to even pay attention to what it is that he picked up.

The strength I have left…

'…_I will use it to answer and comfort this boy who tried to save me.'_

"I'm… sorry…" I start to speak it.

But I wonder if he could hear my voice, it was so weak after all…

I know that now I shouldn't feel like this… but his body was so warm…

'_Unlike this cold body of mine.'_

Silence continues for a while as I'm enduring my pain.

How long have it passed since then? A second ago, a minute, ten minute, an hour, a day, or even a weak?

I don't know it at all as the pain I have gone through dull all my sense of time.

"Why…"

Finally the silence of suffering breaks down when the boy speaks.

'_Yes, why…' _

This is what I want to answer him.

Using all of my time left I will do my best to answer it.

He is the worst father ever. Even try to kill his own daughter.

'_But still…'_

"Because… he's still…. my father."

'_And that's why…'_

"I just…. Wanted him… to accept me…"

'_All the things I have done so far is for…'_

"I studied… so hard… hoping he would… praise me…"

'_But in the end…'_

"But now… I finally…. understand…"

'_Papa just…'_

"Papa…. He didn't want… to accept me…"

'_Honestly, I'm…'_

"I'm such… an idiot…"

'_Why…'_

"Why… did I save him… I wonder."

'_Really sorry…'_

"I'm… sorry… for getting you… involved."

'_I'm sorry…'_

Because of me, I made you a murderer.

Even though, you wanted to help me, you wanted to save me… I made you kill me.

"Ugh… it hurts…"

"Am I… going to die?"

"I don't want to die…"

'_I'm sorry…'_

Even though doing this will hurt you, I'm a coward, so I can't help it. I want you to comfort me…

'_And I said I want to comfort you?' _

'_How ridiculous…'_

"I don't want it… to end… like this…"

'_I'm really sorry I'm such a coward…'_

"Help… me"

'_At least I want to give him something… something…'_

"He...lp…"

'_Yes, a kiss… I will give him a kiss…'_

And then, everything around me goes blank…

1.130426

* * *

**In the next chapter, most of the early dialogue will be the same as in this chapter. But don't worry though, they still will be somewhat different. I don't really copy all my work on this chapter and place it on the next.**

**Oh, and do you think Kurisu is a bit occ or not? Give me your thought on it. I'm not really sure myself.**

** Rookie: **Be patient, dude. Writing a story isn't easy; it takes time, more so, to write a decent one. Don't worry though. I will finish it as soon as possible.

**2 more chapters to go.**

**Please read and review.**

**Until next time.**


	3. Second try

**Author's note: **Okay, third part is finally here. Sorry for the very late update, I sprained my right-index finger while writing the second chapter. So I have to postpone writing it for a while.

Oh, god! I made a mistake! After I reread the visual novel to write this chapter, it seemed that Kurisu found the Upa right after the meeting with the future Okabe. But in the second chapter I made it after the meeting with the present Okabe. Hope you will forgive me ^^

It is too tiring to edit it and the written chapter is a well-made one too… So forgive me to leave it as it is even though I planned to follow it as exactly as the canon from Kurisu's Perspective.

Did any of you guys notice it though? If you were, please tell me. I will give you a deep salute. ^^

Will talk more later at the end of this chapter and all about this story at the end of the fourth (and the last) chapter.

**Qwqs**

**The way of Steins gate: Second try**

"…Ah!"

Before I can call out to him though, he suddenly turns this way, causing me to let out a surprise voice.

'_Better yet, let ask him.'_

"H-hey, you just came down from the-"

"I… For you…"

"Eh?"

Surprise at how abrupt it is, I cry out again.

"I… For you… I will definitely save you!"

He says it with a serious face.

"What do you-"

'_Eh? What does he mean? What will he save me from?'_

As I expect him to answer, he suddenly pats me on my shoulder and then runs off.

'_Eh? What?'_

"W-wait!"

But he still continues running, ignores my desperate cry.

He leaves me to pondering his words.

"_I… For you… I will definitely save you!"_

'_What did he mean by that?'_

I wonder about it, but still…

'_His voice and his expression were so cool!'_

I wonder why I think like that, but I would like to…

'_No, forget it, Kurisu. That is impossible.'_

I shake off the unpleasant thought.

'_Still his face and that way of speak…'_

Yes, it as if I have seen it before.

'_Why, I wonder?'_

**-o-O-o-**

"Well, I guess I will have to put it off until later. I have to attend Papa's conference after all. _*sigh*_"

I whisper to myself and then sigh.

As I am about to open the door to Papa's conference…

"DOOOOOOOOOOOOCTOOOOOOOOOOORRR!"

The voice of that guy rings through the close door and reaches my ears.

"Eh! What is going on?"

I exclaim as I continue to listen.

"Do you take us for fools!?"

That guy shouts in an angry tone.

'_What's with him? So he also attends the conference, huh? Thought so. Why else would he be here?'_

"Who the hell are you?"

Papa responds in an annoying voice.

"Who am I? That doesn't matter! What important is that time machine theory just now!"

He continues, still angry.

"This is the rip off of John Titor's theory, isn't it!? And you dare call yourself an inventor!"

"S-Someone, throw this man out!"

Papa responds in a worry.

'_Great! Just great! Now Papa is in the worst mood ever possible!'_

"The one who we should throw out is YOU! Have you no shame at all!? And you call yourself an inventor!"

'_He still continues!?'_

"Shut your mouth, you little pest!"

Papa scolds.

And then the official walks to restrain him.

"Let me go, bas- huh?"

He pauses in the middle of his sentence as I walk up to him.

"…"

I make a silent groan as I glare him down.

"Ah…"

He utters one word and then goes silent again.

"Could you come with me for a moment?"

I speak; want to get it over with quickly.

He seems to have a thoughtful look on his face for a moment before he speaks again.

And, yet, His next word is also unexpected.

"Y-You… Y-You are with the Organization, aren't you!?"

And of course, the only thing I can do to such an unexpected word is…

"Huh?"

"If their tendrils have gotten this far, then I've made a grave mistake."

'_What with these nonsenses?'_

Unable to put up with it anymore, I cut it off.

"Stop fooling around and come with me."

I speak it in a little tired voice.

"Eh…?"

He exclaims in a confusion voice.

'_Don't play dumb! Aren't you the one who talked to me just a while ago!?'_

He looks at the crowd for a moment before let me leading him out of the assembly hall.

'_Papa, please calm down a bit, okay?'_

**-o-O-o-**

"Don't try anything or other people will notice! You will be in a trouble then, won't you?"

That is the _first sentence_ he speaks after I dragged him out of the room! Honestly, this guy…

'_Will you stop this nonsense ALREADY!'_

"What the hell are you talking about? It grosses me out."

I say it as I glare hard at him again.

Trying to calm my nerves down as much as possible, I begin again in a calm voice.

"I just want to ask you something."

"What makes you think I'll answer? I know how the Organization operates."

He answers in an arrogant tone.

'_Organization again?'_

"What's with this Organization anyway?"

I ask.

It bothers me too much not to ask.

And then I wait for an answer…

But then, this guy… this guy… THIS GUY!

I said it thrice because it is important! SUPER important! ABSOLUTELY, ABSOLUTELY IMPORTANT!

"It's me. I've been caught by an Organization agent… Yes, it's Makise Kurisu. She's a dangerous one. …No, it's fine. I'll find a way to-"

He dare ignores me and starts talking on his damn phone!

"…"

I groan again before snatching the damn phone away from him.

'_Doesn't he know it's rude to use your phone during a real live conversation?'_

"Gah… What are you doing!?"

The guy says as I am about to have a word with whomever this guy talked to…

"Huh? This phone is off."

"…"

The guy also groans in respond to my word of confusion.

'_Ah! I see!'_

'_Now, time for revenge!'_

"…Who were you talking to?"

'_He is clearly flustered! Yay!'_

"Y-Your techniques don't work on me, but I'll tell you anyway. That's no ordinary phone. It's designed to deactivate the moment it leaves my hand. Fuhahaha!"

'_What the hell with that?'_

That's the most absurd excuse I have ever heard.

I don't know if he really thinks that his excuse work or not as he retrieves his phone back and wipes away his sweat.

'_Ok, now for the finishing blow!' _

Here I go!

"I see. So you really talk to yourself."

"Guh!"

'_Serve you right, Fuhahaha!'_

'_Oops! Damn! His idiocy starts to affect me. Have to finish it fast.'_

Thinking so, I hide my smile and step up to him with a serious expression.

'_Remember, Kurisu. Just a while ago, this guy's expression was so serious.'_

'_You have to also be serious about this.'_

"What were you trying to tell me earlier?"

"Earlier? What do you mean?"

No time to retort for serious matter, so I quickly reply.

"About fifteen minutes ago. Just before the conference started."

He has a conflict look on his face, but I ignore it and continue.

"You were trying to tell me something, right? You looked so serious."

'_What did you mean by what you said? And also…'_

"Why? Have we met before?"

'… _I-It sounded so much like a confession.'_

No, Kurisu, calm down.

"And come to think of it, how do you know my name?"

'_No good, I can't remain my calm. What if he is a secret admirer of mine? Was that why he know my name? If he really did confess, what should I answ-'_

I struggle with this stupid thought while waiting for his answer.

I mean I don't know what to do. If he really knew my name because of that, that makes him like a stalker. But still my heart beating like crazy on its own at his presence and when he spoke those words. That voice, that way of speak… why did it feel so nostalgic to me? Why I felt so longing for it…

Is it love at first sight or something else?

And then he finally answers, interrupt all my thought.

"My knowledge has no limits."

"Genius girl, our next meeting shall be as enemies!"

"Huh?"

Yes, that is the only word I can respond to that.

"Farewell! Fuhahaha!"

And then he runs down the stairs, ignoring all my _"wait"._

"…No, forget it. Love, my ass…"

I groan to myself as I look at where he used to be.

'_Still…'_

'_That lab coat… it looked so familiar.'_

That face also looks nostalgic. So is the way he spoke those words…

"_I… For you… I will definitely save you!"_

What did he mean by that? Save me from what?

'_Ah! Stop your crazy beating, my heart! Love with that weirdo is a no-no.'_

I scold at my heart that won't stop beating at an abnormal rate when I recalled his voice and words.

'_Oh, this is bad! I have to prepare to talk to Papa. I have lost time, thinking about this weirdo.'_

Thinking so, I stop thinking about him and focusing more on my meeting with Papa.

**-o-O-o-**

'_Okay! Now that I have already gone to toilet, I should at least be able to hold a decent enough conversation with Papa despite his bad mood.'_

"…And also with this"

I whisper to myself as I take another look at the papers in my hands.

'_With this, Papa should finally forgive me. Or at least I wish it to be so.'_

I can't stop myself from feeling satisfy with myself with this thesis.

I think about these things as I climb up the stairs.

But then, I find something lying down on the floor.

…It seems like a figure or something.

Well, whatever, I should pick it up first.

'_Ah! This is cute!'_

Hmm… what is this green thing? There is something writing on it.

_Mayushii's?_

Well, I supposed this is the name of the owner, but since I don't know who it is, I suppose I might as well hold on to it for now.

'_I will try to find the owner after my talk with Papa.'_

Thinking so, I put this cute green thing into my envelope and continue walk up the stairs.

It is still not the time for the meeting yet, so I will listen to Papa's conference from outside for a bit…

**-o-O-o-**

I look into my envelope at the _green cute_ thing in it.

'_How cute!'_

I can't help but smile as I look at it.

'_Gero-chan, I am about to have a talk with my father after I haven't had a decent conversation with him in years. Please be my strength to help me make up with Papa, okay?'_

Doing the telepathy with this Gero-chan sure is calming my nervousness down a bit.

'_And what's up with that guy anyway? Why he gave this beating rate to my heart? It's a sexual harassment, you know!'_

As I am reassuring myself with Gero-chan like this, I hear the footsteps of Papa approaching. So I prepare myself.

"…I wanted to talk"

I start.

"…"

He groans in respond.

I encourage myself to speak again after seeing his negative respond.

"Are you listening, Papa?"

"What is that?"

He finally says something as he is looking at the envelope in my hands.

'_Come on, you can do it, Kurisu. Just brace yourself.'_

I reassure myself again.

"I heard Papa was giving a presentation on time travel."

"That makes me think. Could it be possible to make a time machine?"

I smile at Papa, pause for a bit and then continue again.

"I'd like your opinion, Papa."

"We can polish it together, and then submit it to the scientific community.

'_Yes, like this it will work.' _

I will finally make up with Papa…

"I don't know if they'll listen, but just in case, I do have acquaintances as science magazine."

I give the thesis to Papa and let him read it, all the while praying inside, _please work, please work._

Although it doesn't seem to going too well since the more Papa read, the more irritated he becomes.

Finally, after he skimmed through some pages in it…

"Who told you to write this?"

He scolds.

I answer evenly

"No one… but…"

"You invited me to come, remember? It was the first time we had talked in 7 years. That's what got me thinking."

"And as I worked on thesis thesis, I started to realize it might actually be possible to build a time machine."

So far so good.

"If this thesis is published, you could have your revenge on the scientific community for shunning you-"

"I wasn't shunned!"

He suddenly shouts

'_Ah, I made a mistake.'_

I think to myself.

"Those incompetent bastards were just jealous of my superiority. I was the one who gave up on them!"

He continues to shout.

"P-please don't yell…"

'_Hang on, Kurisu. You still can do it, still can do it…'_

I reassure myself again.

Though I only receive the glare from Papa as of now.

'_Ok, try again to change the mood.'_

"Y-You read really fast, Papa. Just like I remember."

"…Not bad."

He finally speaks positively.

'_Ah, and I thought it would fail…'_

"Really?"

"We can submit it jointly, if you like. I don't mind."

'_Ok, now. I can finally make up with Pap-'_

"No, don't do anything. I will take care of it."

"…What do you mean?"

'_What did you say, Papa?'_

"What do I mean? I mean don't think you are special just because you got your plebeian thesis published in some magazines!"

"…"

P-P-Papa?

I can't help but look at him in disdain.

It comes on reflex.

After all what he said…

"What? Is that how you look at your father!?"

Endure it for a little more, Kurisu. Not all hope is lost yet.

"I'm sorry…"

I apologize to Papa.

And then we are both gone silence.

I try to find a way to change the atmosphere out of this awkward silence.

"Umm… We haven't seen each other in a while. There is a lot I want to talk about. You're living in Aomori now, right?"

"Leave"

Papa cuts it off curtly.

"Eh…"

I can't help it but let out a voice.

I'm just too confused by what he meant.

"Go back to America. Never show your face to me again!"

"But-"

I try to protest

"You want my opinion!? We'll submit it jointly!? You don't mean any of that! I know what you think!"

Papa continues ranting.

"Is that pity!? How dare you!? You're supposed to be my daughter!"

'_This is going to the worst…'_

"I… I don't understand. Please calm-"

"I am calm! Don't tell me what to do!"

'_P-P-P-P-Papa.'_

I hold back the urge to cry.

"I'll tell you why I called you here today. I wanted to show you my research, research beyond what you can imagine!"

"I wanted to prove, once and for all, that you are nothing, compare to me!"

"But that brat in the lab coat ruined everything! I know you were laughing at me too, don' you deny it! How dare you treat your own father this way!?"

'_So it is because of that guy after all. *sob*'_

I start to sob mentally.

"I wasn't-"

Using my slightly shivering voice, I try to respond.

"You want my opinion on this thesis? Fine, I'll give it to you."

"I'm going to publish it for myself. End of discussion."

"…"

'_Don't tell me, Papa… You will…'_

"…You're stealing it?"

"…What did you say?"

"You're stealing my work? I didn't think even you would do something like-"

My voice is clearly shaking now. My mind is about to break down…

_*Slap*_

"Ah!"

'Papa…'

I look up at my Papa in shock.

"Who do you think you're talking to!?"

And then Papa tries to strangle me.

"_*gasp*… *gasp*_"

I try my best to gasp for air while resisting my Papa.

"You can't possibly understand how I feel! Why did you have to be so talented!? I detest you! I hate your very existence!"

"Nobody is allowed to be better than me! Understand!? Nobody! Especially not my own daughter!"

'_Papa… Why do you feel like this about me…'_

"That's why I sent you away! I couldn't bear the shame of being your father!"

My mind is about to break down as I listen to my father words, so is my consciousness.

"It's all your fault! It's all your fault!"

'_Papa… if you hate me so much then…'_

I was about to resign my life when…

"Stop!"

…I hear the familiar voice from afar.

"You! From before…"

Papa shouts at the guy.

Yes, the same guy who said he will save me.

'_He really did come here to save me!'_

"You are the brat who ruined my presentation!"

Papa continues his shouting and lets me go of his grip.

"Guh, gah hoh gah hoh gah hoh…"

"How dare you show your face before me!? Why does everyone make fun of me!?"

"I know! You and Kurisu planned this, didn't you? Didn't you!?"

"I won't forgive you, brats!"

Papa shouts at the guy before taking a knife out of his pocket.

'_*gasp*Ru… *gasp* n… awa… *gasp* y…'_

I want to tell him to run away, but I still busy gasping for air.

No good, he will get…

At that moment, I hear the disdainful laugher coming from the guy.

"Try it, if you dare."

He challenges Papa.

"You… who are you!?"

Papa responds, pissed off.

At that question, the guy answers instantly.

"I am…"

"Hououin Kyouma!"

"What!?"

Papa exclaims, clearly confused.

"If you don't know, let me tell you. 'Houou' for phoenix, then 'in', and finally the 'terrible truth' that must never be revealed! Hououin Kyouma!"

'_What the hack is that!'_

I think as he continues his ridiculous speech.

"I am the bringer of chaos. The Destroyer of Order."

'_You still continue it!?"_

"And I am the one who will end your ambition!"

'_You stupid!? Wanna die!?'_

I can't help it but recites Louise's famous line at the ridiculous words this guy gave in this dangerous situation.

Ironically, he will really die because of his stupid speech.

'_Stop it, idiot! Do you really want to get yourself killed!?'_

I stagger to my feet with my hand still wrap around my neck.

"Run away!"

I cry.

'_Run away before you get yourself ki-'_

"I refuse!"

'_Wha-'_

He ignores me and turns to face Papa with his arms spread wide in challenging manner.

"What's wrong, Doctor Nakabachi? Aren't you going to kill me? Or have you lost your nerve?"

"Of course, a mere mortal can never slay a god such as I! Fuhahaha!"

'_You…'_

I am about to curse him. But it seems like I'm not the only one think so…

"Don't screw with me!"

Papa shouts and then charges at the guy with his knife.

'_No…'_

"No! Papa, stop!"

I cry out desperately.

"You can't kill me! Never will!"

That guy still continues mocking Papa.

'_Dodge it already, Idiot!'_

"DIE!"

And then Papa's knife stabs into the guy abdomen.

"Gah… ha…!"

The guy groans.

'_N-no way.'_

"Haha… hehehe… hehehehehehe"

Despite the shock I receive, I still hear Papa's laugher.

'_Papa…'_

"Ah, gahh, aaahhh!"

That guy still continues letting out a voice, seems to be in so much pain.

Then Papa pulls the knife out. Blood gushes from the wound.

"Haah, haah, gaha…"

The guy stagger on his feet, desperately try to stay stand.

"N-Now who is laughing… hehehehe… That's what you get for mocking me!"

Then the guy takes out a stun gun and presses the switch, letting the electric shockwave sound out in front of Papa's face.

"Hee…!"

Papa cries out as his face turns pale.

"Now you've done it…"

The guy glares hard at Papa and he takes a step forward towards him. But still…

'_His feet are still staggering.'_

"Gach…"

He lets out a voice again as blood spurts out from his throat.

'…_This is bad, very bad!'_

"I will never forgive you!"

"I'm going to kill you, old man!"

As the guy roars at him with an angry voice, Papa moans again.

"Heeee…!"

"You and the girl… I'll kill you both!"

"Don't move!"

Ignore what he said, I run up to him and support his body.

"Lie down! I'll call an ambulance!"

'_You don't have to act tough, you are about to lose consciousness, aren't you? Idiot!'_

As I was supporting him, he suddenly looks at me with a soft expression.

"You… I will definitely save you."

He says to me in a tired voice, yet there is kindness in his tone.

"What are you talk-"

Suddenly, an immense pain surges at me at the same time I hear the sound of shockwave.

I can't hold it in and collapses.

But unexpectedly though, even though I collapsed, my consciousness wasn't lost.

I can't move even a finger; my body doesn't listen to me at all.

But still…

My consciousness is fine, even though a little stupefy.

"Your daughter… I will have my way with her… before I kill her…"

The voice of the guy who shocked me rings again.

"Nakabachi… First it will be you!"

"Hahahaha… hahaha"

The guy laughs disdainfully at Papa.

"Heeeeee!"

And then there is a voice of metal falls to the ground, probably that knife.

A moment later, the sound of that shockwave came again.

"Hyeeehhhh!"

Papa cries out again as I hear the sound of footsteps running away from the scene.

"Haah… haah… haah…"

After Papa seems to have already gone, the guy let out breaths of exhaustion.

I want to help him somewhat, but I can't move my body.

"Ugg…"

The guy groans again as I hear the voice of blood dripping to the floor.

"No… not enough…"

'_Not enough? What does he mean?'_

I can't help but thought about the words.

"Gah!"

I hear him cries out again, accompany by a stabbing sound.

"AAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!"

The guy cries out loudly and painfully as the sound of blood dripping gets more and more intense.

"Gach, haah, haah, haah, gghh, khah…"

The stabbing sound continues as the guy continues to groan.

'_What is he doing!"_

I'm shocked. Even gobsmacked.

'_He is stabbing himself!'_

Even if I can't see it, I can be certain of it from my hearing.

'_Why did he-'_

Suddenly the door opens.

"Uncle Okarin!"

Then I hear another voice of a teenager girl around the same age as me.

"T-That wound! What happened!? What were you doing!?"

The voice cries out in worry.

"Idiot… If you die… If we fail…!"

"Heh… heh heh…"

The guy laughs painfully in respond to the girl words.

"Uncle…?"

The girl lets the word out, a little confused.

"You forget who you are dealing with, Suzuha."

"Look at the floor… Notice anything?"

"The floor?"

'_Is there anything on the floor?!'_

And the guy answers it for me.

"Heh heh… That should be enough blood… don't you think?"

'_!'_

"A pool of blood!"

The girl exclaims almost at the same time as me.

"But uncle, you'll die!"

Yes, surely he will. From the sound I heard, that should be a lot of blood.

"Heh, there's no way I'll die…"

"Who do you think I am?"

"I am the insane mad scientist, Hououin Kyouma… you know?"

"Uncle…"

"Suzuha… Kurisu's body."

'_!'_

"Ah, okay!"

'_What will they do to my body?'_

'_Don' tell me this guy was serious when saying he will have my way with me!?"_

I don't really believe that he will do that to my unconsciousness self, but I can't help it.

And then my body gets carried and it falls down on the pool of blood the guy created.

The feel of blood makes me want to move away, but I can't move my body at all and have to stay perfectly still.

And then his hand strokes my hair softly.

'_Don't tell me he is a sort of fanatic that has sex with an unconscious girl on top of his own blood!?'_

'_No, don't come-'_

If it was possible, my body would tense up even tighter at this moment.

"Did it hurt? I'm sorry… To save you, I have to do it…"

'_Eh?'_

"Even though those 3 weeks… will never come back…"

He continues in gently tone as he continues to rub my head.

"I want you to live."

At his sad and gently voice, my heart aches deeply.

'_!'_

Why do I feel so much pain? Why just listening to his sad voice makes me want to cry?

"Farewell…"

"Mission… complete. Return to base…"

* * *

**Yes, I know. It maybe a bit out of the canon for Kurisu to stay consciousness after getting shocked.**

**But it was not clearly stated in canon whether Kurisu was really unconsciousness. So, although it is technically impossible, it is not really impossible.**

**Misa Yumoka: **Sorry for the wait, I just happened to sprain my finger and have to postpone it a bit. Hope you will forgive me.

**1 more to go.**

**Please read and review.**

**Let's meet again in the Epilogue.**


	4. Epilogue

**Author's note: **Finally, the final part! Sorry for a hiatus. I just kind of busy and don't know what to write.

By the way, I just found out there was a light novel about Kurisu's perspective in the event of Steins; gate. Was what it again? Steins; Gate: Butterfly Effect's Divergence. If you guys want to know more about Kurisu, I suggest you reading it.

Since there was already an official work, my motivation just dropped down, sorry about that.

**Qwqs**

**The way of Steins gate: Epilogue: This is the choice of steins gate.**

It's has been almost 2 months since that accident with papa.

Back then, when people came and saw me lying in a pool of blood, no matter how much I wanted to, I couldn't cover it up for papa. Not to mention, I didn't feel as eager anymore after witness what my papa did.

For now, my only reason for staying in Japan is to find him.

Yes, that guy, that crazy bastard! Didn't he value his life at all?!

I even went as far as checking all hospitals in Japan during the first 2 weeks, but I didn't see him at all.

With such a fatal injury, why didn't he go to hospital?!

I take a look at my channel again and read the forum about papa.

…Well, I suppose that there is no way it will end that well, is it?

Sighing hard to myself again, I continue my walk on Akihabara.

'_And I thought I would meet him again if I stayed in this town…'_

Such a naïve thought… There is no way for it to be possible, is there?

How many people do you think are in Aki-

Eh?

Eh?

Eh?

I suddenly stop walking.

'_Did that guy just now? Him?'_

Thinking so, I slowly turn around.

It really is him!

I don't know when or how, but suddenly tears form itself in the corners of my eyes.

After a brief moment of silence, I speak.

"I finally found you!"

My voice is a little high with a hint of uncontrollable, overwhelming feeling of gratefulness in them.

In respond to my words, the guy just blankly stares at me, direct to the eyes. In his eyes I sense an unexplainable hidden emotion within.

"I've been looking everywhere for you!"

I continue my words as he continues to stare at me with those mysterious, yet charming eyes.

His appearance is mediocre at best, not a trace of handsomeness at all. Yet when I look into those eyes, I can't help but be mesmerizing.

"_You… I will definitely save you."_

His words ring in my mind again.

"Ever since you saved my life."

Yes, he did save my life. Like he promised to…

"I was afraid I'd never have a chance to say thank you."

Even though I know nothing about him at all…

"I'm so glad we could finally meet."

For saving me…

"Thank you, Thank you so much."

Luckily he is okay…

"*_hi*_ and thank goodness you are alright."

The warmth in his eyes as he stares as me doesn't disappear and instead intensify.

But the next moment, he takes out his phone and put it to his ear.

"It's me. Why is she here? My Reading Steiner didn't activate at all!"

"What? Want me to protect her!? Honestly, that is such a tall order, isn't it?"

"But if that is the choice of Steins gate… then so be it. El Psy Kongroo."

As he speaks the last sentence, his voice largely breaks up.

I am looking at him, waiting for him to say something to me.

Why did you save me? Did we know each other before? What did you mean by 3 weeks? Was it really necessary to hurt yourself like that?

I have so many questions I want to ask him, but I want him to say something to me first.

'_Come on, just say something already!' _

I tell him with my eyes as I stare as him.

Finally, he speaks to me after my long wait.

"We meet again, Christina."

Eh?

Again his words surprised me, but it is not as surprising as what happens next.

"How many times do I have to tell you I'm not Christina, your assistant or-"

Eh? Eh? Eh?

What the hell am I saying?!

"Eh?!"

"Eh?!"

We both exclaim at the same time.

"Huh? I… something suddenly popped into my head…"

"Why, I wonder…"

I stare as the guy, confused.

Why the word this guy just randomly said holds such a significant meaning to me?

The light in his eyes changes, as if he just understands something…

"Welcome back, my assistant, Makise Kurisu- No, Christina."

His word was firm and then he takes something out of his pocket.

It is a metal pin.

Something so insignificant, yet it still seems to hold a considerable meaning in my heart. The reason why that is… I don't know…

Placing the pin in my hand, he holds it and declares to me gently.

"This is the choice of Steins Gate."

Steins Gate…

This word that I never knew nor heard of… But why is it I wonder that this strange word and this strange guy who said it seems to me like they are the things that will change this bitter life of mine and give it a new beginning…

* * *

**Finally done!**

**At first, I planned to talk about this story here. But I'm sorry, it seems like I lost my motivation about it.**

**I hope some of you enjoy this story of mine.**

**Thank you for reading this story!**


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